


Sleep

by stardustinoureyes



Series: Mad Scientists [1]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Nightmares, autistic!Holtzmann
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 08:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7794649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustinoureyes/pseuds/stardustinoureyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin Gilbert is having nightmares.</p><p>Also, Autstic!Holtzmann is the most important Holtzmann...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleep

The nights after Erin Gilbert wrapped a tow cable around her waist and jumped into another dimension to save her friend were filled with nightmares and restless sleep. It always followed the same pattern.

First, she would be back in the portal, falling into an endless abyss and reaching for Abby with everything she had. She would stretch her arm out and just miss Abby’s fingers every time, as her friend fell faster and faster. She would wake up then, roll over and attempt to fall back to sleep, only to be greeted by the second nightmare, which was definitely worse than the first. In it, she was back on the streets during the fight, frozen in her tracks. She watched as Patty got chased by an axe-wielding Abraham Lincoln on stilts. Next she would find Abby, surrounded by puritans with pitchforks. But the worst was Holtz. Happy, go-lucky Holtzmann smiled at her, dimples popping as she struggled with ghosts at the end of the beams coming off of each of her side arms. Then Rowan, still in Kevin’s body would step in front of her and shove his hand straight into Holtz’s chest, emerging with a vibrant red heart.

And then, Jillian Holtman would look at her and cry out in pain like it was Erin’s fault, before falling limp on the ground. Erin would scream out and wake herself up, covered in a sheen of cold sweat.

She hadn’t had a good night of sleep in nearly a week now, and tonight was no different. Erin rolled over to look at her clock. The bright red numbers flashed 3:30am. She sighed and got out of bed. She’d gone through this pattern enough to know that there was really no point in trying to go back to bed. Besides, the group was moving today, so at the very least getting to HQ early to pack would be more productive. She went through the motions of her morning routine, yawning every so often; coffee, shower, coffee, outfit, coffee, makeup, coffee. Caffeine was basically a component of her bloodstream now. It was only 4:30 when she finished, but she was 90% sure that no one would be crazy enough to be at HQ right now, so she left her apartment anyway.

Sure enough, their little space above the restaurant was dark when Erin arrived. She yawned and rubbed her eyes before walking over to her desk. Most of her stuff was already packed into the boxes that sat in a neat stack by the door, but the papers on her desk still needed to be organized and filed so she could find them again once everything was moved across town. She was busy reading some of her notes on lay lines and trying to figure out which pile they should go in when she heard a noise behind her. She spun around to see one mad scientist with yellow goggles staring at her. “Holtzmann,” she said, hand flying up to her chest. “You scared me.”

Hotlzy cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. “What’s got you so jumpy, Gilbert?”

Erin shook her head. “Nothing. Couldn’t sleep,” she said, shrugging, a nervous laugh escaping. The one that happened when she lied. If she were telling the truth, the massive amounts of caffeine in her system, the nightmares, the very real relief of seeing Holtzmann alive an well were all things that could be filed under: “Things That Make Erin Gilbert Jumpy”. “What are - what are you doing here?” she asked, desperate to take the attention of the blonde off of her. Erin looked at Holtz for a moment. The younger woman was in her maroon silk robe again, with mismatched high socks and bunny slippers. Had she even left?

Hotlz just shrugged. “Moving day. Have to make sure things don’t blow up.”

“Oh, right.”

Silence fell over the two of them. Erin was sure there was something else. Something that Holtz wasn’t saying. But their moment was broken by the sound of Kevin and Patty arriving.

“Good morning lovely people,” the boisterous historian yelled across the room. “Ah, moving day. What a great day.” She walked directly over to Holtz and handed her a cup with a distinct green mermaid on the side. “A quad shot white chocolate for my favorite Holtzy.”

Dimples popped in response. “Thanks Patty.”

Erin turned away, giving the two their privacy, a pang of something in her stomach. Probably just hunger. She looked at the clock, 7:15am, yeah, definitely just hunger. She walked into the small kitchen area where Kevin was staring at the coffee pot with a look of confusion on his face. She sighed and helped him find the switch to turn it on, again, before grabbing a pop tart out of a box and wandering back into the work room.

She didn’t really have time to think about the nightmares for the rest of the day. There was simply too much to do. Boxes to be filled with her life’s work, then put in a trailer and hauled to their new home. The four girls piled into the new and improved Ecto-2 to follow the moving van. In the front Patty was describing the deep history of the firehouse to Abby, who was doing her best to seem interested. The subtle rocking and bouncing of the car made Erin’s eyelids grow heavy, until the point where her head bobbed as she did her best to stay awake. The last thing she needed was her friends leaning about the nightmares.

Holtzmann, however, was watching her with intense eyes. “When’s the last time you slept?” she whispered quietly across the back seat.

Erin shook her head a little to try and stay awake. “Last night,” she yawned.

“I meant the last time you slept well.”

Erin stared at the floor of the car.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she said, shifting closer. “Come here, at least try to get a cat-nap in. I won’t let anything happen.”

Everything in Erin’s mind was telling her not to fall asleep, not to risk exposing her less than stellar mental state, but her body was screaming the exact opposite. Finally, she nodded and curled up into Holtzy, and fell fast asleep. There was something about being next to the blonde that felt warm and safe and sure enough, whatever it was kept the nightmares away.

When she came to they were pulling up to the firehouse, and she felt more rested than she had in at least a week. Hottz was unbuckling her seat belt, but Erin reached out to grab her arm. “Holtzmann, please don’t - don’t tell anyone about the sleep thing?”

The blonde smiled at her, made a lock motion at her lips and tossed the pretend key over her shoulder before jumping out of the car, yelling to Patty about something ridiculous. Erin stretched and looked towards their new home. She walked up the stairs to the second floor, which Holtzmann had claimed for the most part, but would still hold their individual rooms and the kitchen area. Hotlzy bounced around, a little ball of excitement and energy as she grabbed Erin’s hand and drug her towards one of the doors. “This one is your room,” she said, showing Erin a beautiful view of the skyline.

“Thanks, Holtz. Which one is yours?”

“Oh, I’m right next door,” she said, winking.

“Good to know.”

The team spent the rest of the afternoon unloading boxes and finding new homes for their belongings. Around five or six Erin noticed the subtle shift in Holtzmann. She wouldn’t look anyone in the eye, and kept staring off into space. More than once Erin caught her fidgeting with the bracelet on her wrist, always in the same pattern. After a while, Patty and Abby both left, each saying they wanted to sleep in their own beds.

Erin didn’t exactly want to go home. She didn’t want to face the nightmares again, and she didn’t want to leave Holtzy by herself either. Instead, she walked over to Holtzmann. “Are you okay?”

Hotlzy shrugged. She looked up but didn’t meet Erin’s eyes, instead staring at the wall behind her.

“You can tell me, you know.

Holtzmann fidgeted with her bracelet once more. “I’m just… Overwhelmed,” she said, a serious nature replacing her usually comedic one. “There’s too much.”

“Too much what?”

“Noise. People, things, everything,” Holtzy listed. Her eyes still trained anywhere but Erin’s face.

“Ok. Let me know if I can help.”

Hotlz bit her lip. “Will you hug me?”

Erin furrowed her brow. “Uh sure, but why?”

“I feel like I’m floating away,” the mad scientist whispered, arms wrapped around herself, like she was trying to keep herself together.

Erin thought for a moment and grabbed Holzmann’s hand, and tugged her up the stairs towards their new bedrooms. They weren’t properly decorated, but there was a bed. She laid next to Holtzmann and snuggled into her as the big spoon and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

 

Sun streamed through the window as Patty and Abby looked on at their two colleagues. Patty leaned over to whisper in Abby’s ear. “You owe me $20.”

 


End file.
